I grew up a short bike ride from my grandparent’s house. I rode there often after school and on weekends, frequently spent the night, and developed fond memories of both of them. Though my grandfather died when I was in middle school, my grandmother died only recently. I was able to visit my grandmother until I was 55 years old - I’m a very lucky guy.

Fran Carter and me (when I had more hair).

My grandma had been quite the go-getter early on. She worked full-time but always seemed to have plenty of energy to entertain me and my two sisters. While I remember cuddling on the couch, I also remember plenty of outings - riding ponies, going to the zoo, birthday parties in her back yard, gardening, going to pick strawberries together. She was on a bowling league when bowling was a bigger sport than it is now.

Of course, over the years, things changed. When I returned to my hometown (far too infrequently) as an adult, those changes were really obvious. My robust grandma with lots of energy who frequently struggled to keep her weight in check turned into a shorter, thinner version of herself. She still had plenty of energy and I even remember seeing a photo of her standing on the kitchen counter at my sister’s new house cleaning out a cupboard years after such activities should have been left to someone younger. She’d laugh it off and keep on going. (By the way, my mom is the same way now!)

But with time, grandma became frail. By the time she died at age 88, she was tiny, without a lot of energy, her balance wasn’t good, her hearing wasn’t what it had been, and her memory had truly failed her. Dementia prevented her from remembering people close to her - much of the time she didn’t even recognize close family members. This was the same grandma (and mom, sister, aunt, great-grandma, and great-great-grandma) that we’d all known for so many years - and yet, she wasn’t the same at all. Slippery floors were more dangerous. Getting around was possible only with a walker. At least a few minutes during each visit was spent going over her latest developments. Her knees hurt. Her back hurt. She’d ask me questions I’d answered just a few minutes earlier.

I lived 2,000 miles away and I had it easy. I got to come and sit with her for a bit before going to the airport to fly back to California. I didn’t need to care for her - I didn’t cook for her (something she enjoyed doing for herself previously), or make sure she was safe while bathing, getting to the car on icy sidewalks, or even walking down the hall. Grandma lived with her son, my uncle, and he saw to most of those things on a daily basis (with some well-deserved breaks coming from other family members). It was easy for me to remember all the good times because I wasn’t faced every day with the difficulties of living with someone with diminished physical and mental faculties. But I notice that those people who did face those challenges with grandma did so with love. Sure, they’d sometimes tell me about some challenge - whether laughing it off or still feeling the insult of something she’d said in anger. But they’d shrug it off and go on taking care of her gently and with real compassion.

Whew, that’s a long introduction to an article about dogs, isn’t it?

But that’s because I think our lives with our dogs are very much like our lives with our aging family members. Time will be compressed since our dogs age and die faster than senior humans. But otherwise, there’s an awful lot of similarity. While every human - and every dog - is different, we can expect our dogs to slow down a bit (or a lot), to be less sure-footed and energetic, perhaps to face hearing or vision loss, and possibly even to have cognitive decline.

As our dogs age, I hope we can consider each of these things and work to help them be as comfortable as we work to help our aging human family members. Here are some things to think about:

Muscles and bones: We might see loss of muscle and weight gain from decreased activity. That combination can be harder on dog’s shoulders, hips, and leg joints. They may struggle to access places they used to get to without a problem. It might actually hurt to climb the stairs to sleep in your bedroom. It might hurt to jump into or out of the car. It might be hard to walk as far or as fast as they used to. Wood and tile floors might be slippery - resulting in fear of going in specific rooms. It might be harder to sit or do many of the other “tricks” we’ve taught them. Dogs suffering from undiagnosed pain like hip dysplasia or arthritis may display aggressive behaviors (in order to keep people from touching or handling them and causing the pain).
So, what can we do? Look at your dog critically as if he/she was a little old person with similar problems. We can provide throw rugs with sticky bottoms for slippery floors. We can provide ramps if stairs are too much. We can rearrange sleeping areas so dogs can get to them easier. We can carry small dogs or put them in strollers. We might find that bigger dogs love going on treks to see and smell things in a child’s red wagon instead of having to walk long distances. Just as we wouldn’t allow kids to accidentally knock over a frail adult, we can be more careful not to bump into dogs who are unsteady on their feet and not allow kids or other dogs to do that. We can stop asking our frail dogs suffering from joint problems to sit when there’s really no need for them to do so (before getting their dinner, for instance). You might also consider changing their exercise routine to something with less impact (like swimming) and look into providing massages by a qualified professional to ease sore muscles - or learn to provide those yourself.
Vision and hearing: I’ve met many blind or deaf dogs. I’ve seen that they generally adapt to the vision/hearing loss better than I think I would. Dogs don’t appear to dwell in the past (“Oh, I miss seeing sunsets and hearing my favorite band.”). They are busy attending to what’s happening to them in the present. Some things that might help these dogs though include:
- Keeping the furniture in the same place instead of moving things around frequently.
- Providing a “halo” for dogs who have recently lost their vision. These lightweight devices are worn by the dog and have a small plastic tube which goes around the dog’s head so the tube makes contact and bends gently to give the dog feedback that they’ve bumped into something (before the dog’s face has actually come into contact with something that might have hurt or scared them). In the spirit of true transparency here, I know these exist, but I’m not sure how effective or necessary they are. I’ve generally heard that dogs simply adapt quickly to vision loss and so things like this might not be needed.
- Training the dog with new cues - if she can’t hear, touching the dog on the shoulder gently (and being careful not to startle them by approaching from behind) can become the new request to go to bed. If he’s lost some vision, a flashlight might help him know where you are on a walk and a couple of flashes could mean it’s time to come inside. There are trainers who focus on blind/deaf dogs - let me know if you need additional resources for your dog.
Memory issues: Memory loss and dementia in dogs is referred to as Canine Cognitive Dysfunction (CCD). While it’s not exactly the same as Alzheimer’s in humans, it rather close (close enough that dogs have been used as models in studies of early Alzheimer’s). Dogs may forget their way around their house (unable to find their beds or even “getting stuck” in a corner). They may forget earlier training - including house training. In later stages, they may be unable to acquire new learning (so something as simple as a new location for their food dish could become impossible for them to remember). They may forget people and other animals they live with - and as a result may become fearful of these “strangers.” If you’d like more information about CCD, I strongly recommend the book, “Remember Me? Loving and Caring for a Dog with Canine Cognitive Dysfunction” by Eileen Anderson.

Just as living with an aging relative can be difficult, living with senior dogs can be harder too. We may have to adjust our lives a bit to accommodate their declining physical and mental abilities. They may have more injuries or illnesses which require more costly vet visits than they required in the past. They might require medications that we need to learn to administer. They may revert to accidents in the house after being completely house trained for years. They might have body handling (often due to undiagnosed pain) or stranger-danger issues they never had previously.

Still, I hope that we’ll all have the inner strength to treat our senior dogs with the same dignity, compassion, and love we hope we’ll be granted one day should we have similar needs. With any luck, we’re all going to get older. Let’s be as kind to one another as possible through that process.

Loving and Caring For Senior Dogs