7 Easy Steps to be a Bad Dog Owner
Buy a dog from a backyard breeder or puppy mill to increase the probability of getting a dog with genetic health or temperament problems.
Use a shock collar, prong collar, or choke collar to control your dog because an uneducated “trainer” convinced you that it doesn’t hurt, mimics the mother dog’s “gentle corrections,” and failed to disclose the potential for increased fear and aggression issues (this may be the best way to teach a friendly dog to bite children). Try to keep convincing yourself that it’s okay even though it wouldn’t change the dog’s behavior if it didn’t hurt or scare them. Be sure not to consult in advance with a qualified professional who understands the deep and ever-growing body of evidence-based information about how animals learn. Say things like, “I tried it on my own arm and I could barely feel it!” And if you happen to make a mistake and ask for advice, ignore it and go with someone with no credentials instead.
Use essential oils, reiki, homeopathy, and “natural” remedies instead of providing legitimate (proven) veterinary care while your pet continues to suffer. Convince yourself that chemicals are bad and vets are just trying to get you to spend money on unnecessary tests and treatments. While you’re at it, hire an animal communicator to ask your dog what’s wrong.
Let your dog roam off-leash in areas where leashes are required. Extra points for letting them run up to leashed fearful dogs who desperately need space. Don’t worry about the risk of moving cars because that remote control in your hand will absolutely save their life when you press the button (and ignore all the evidence to the contrary - I mean, it’s just a dog and it can be replaced right?).
Breed your dog because she’s cute, you want her to experience the joy of birth, or you want your kids to have that experience. Don’t bother with health tests to make sure the puppies will be okay. Don’t consider that fear can be passed along to future generations and that fearful dogs are often the ones who bite. And just look the other way when those puppies end up in shelters in the future.
Provide no enrichment and expect them to be fine in a quiet house with nothing to do while you’re gone for a full work day every day. Forget that you’ve brought an animal into your house who is simply acting like an animal with mental and physical needs that you’re not able to meet.
Get a breed that was created for a specific need that looks entirely different from your lifestyle. When the dog starts “causing problems” for you, hire a trainer and expect that they can solve all the problems in one or two sessions even though dogs with such needs should never have been adopted by families like yours.
Written by, and on behalf of, dog trainers who care about dogs but are exhausted by seeing dogs in desperate situations every day.Also note: I get to work with many many people who do a great job of keeping their dogs happy, healthy, and safe. They are the reason I’m able to keep going another day and another and another.