It's okay to rehome your dog

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This is a touchy subject. I’ll bet some people will disagree with me on this. And that’s okay - we can certainly still be friends if you have a different opinion on this. But at least hear me out.

People see commercials with dogs playing with kids, cuddling on a lazy Sunday morning, going for long walks in gorgeous locations. And they may have fond memories of the dog they had as a child. Or regret that they never got the puppy they always wanted. So, they go get a dog.

They might do that at the local shelter or rescue, from someone down the street who is selling puppies, or from a reputable breeder producing physically and temperamentally sound dogs. In any case, a dog enters the picture.

If they got a puppy, I can almost guarantee some sleepless nights, scratches from sharp puppy teeth, a chewed-up book/table leg/throw pillow/sock, and a house training accident or two. These things are completely normal and I warn all my clients to expect them (and how to avoid/resolve those behaviors too). And most people get through those puppy months even though they can be very hard.

But some people just can’t. It’s not a moral failure to realize that you’ve gotten yourself in over your head. I’ve walked into houses with screaming toddlers, overworked parents, and puppies biting and annoying geriatric dogs. It’s a lot. Sometimes, it’s just too much. Yes, help might be available. Some combination of dog trainers, dog walkers, and day care can teach the dog better behaviors, work off some excess energy, and give you a much-needed break. But those things require resources (money) that not everyone has. There may not even be a good daycare or dog walker near you in large parts of the country.

Of course, it’s not just puppies. The relaxed-looking two-year-old dog you saw lying down at the shelter may have turned into a non-stop moving bundle of energy after a few weeks of getting comfortable at your house. You thought you were bringing home a couch potato to match your lifestyle only to find that you have an athlete who needs a job every day. While you’re active, you work from home 60 hours a week, and your health doesn’t really allow for jogging, biking, or dog sports like agility as an outlet for your dog’s energy.

Or maybe you have a dog who turns out not to like kids. Really doesn’t like kids. Perhaps there have been multiple bites including one trip to the emergency room for stitches. You’ve worked with a trainer and you’re doing everything you can to keep everyone safe. You have management in place (crating, baby gates, and muzzling are all in place when your grandchildren come over) and training is underway. Your dog is lovely when it’s just the two of you, but she’s just not comfortable with crowds and especially kids. Despite all your efforts, she doesn’t seem to be getting better even a year later. You’re worried that there could be a management fail and someone could get hurt. You don’t want animal control showing up again because you know it will mean the end of her life.

And, of course, there are people facing difficult times. Whether health issues or financial issues, they may simply be unable to care for their dog as required. Some dogs really don’t do well being homeless (though I’ve met many dogs in temperate climates who appear healthy and happy doing so). And even if the dog is okay, a person who’s struggling to make ends meet may not have the ability to care for a dog in addition to taking care of themselves.

Dogs should be seen as more than mere possessions which can be sold, traded, or discarded.

And most dog owners know that and that’s not how they feel. Sure, there are people like that but that’s not who I’m talking about. I’m talking about people who have gotten a dog and their expectations are very different than the reality of having the particular dog they are living with. Even if they did some research about breeds in order to make the best match they could, they might have ended up with a dog that simply doesn’t fit in their lives. That’s not the dog’s fault. And it’s not the human’s fault either. They’ve made a mistake - and we all do that at times.

These people are often disappointed, sad, and really conflicted about what to do. None of the options seem great. Some people put their dogs in the garage or the back yard to live. These social creatures languish, sometimes for years, at the end of a chain with no enrichment or company other than what they get when they are fed. And that’s not okay. It’s truly not.

It’s also not okay to drop off dogs in a field or on the street to fend for themselves. The fate of dogs dumped like that is pretty miserable. They have to find food (and they don’t know how), they have to avoid moving cars, dangerous wildlife, and unfriendly dogs (and many don’t).

So, what to do?

Helping this dog find a home that’s more suited to their personality and needs can be the kindest option. There are many ways to do that. Rehoming to a friend or the friend of a friend can work wonderfully. Working with a reputable rescue or shelter is another option. These organizations specialize in making matches to get dogs into their forever homes. Most shelters/rescues are great, but they aren’t all equal, so please do some research before handing over your dog. And please avoid things like Craigslist for this.

There are a lot of different households out there. There are busy ones and some which are slower paced. Some have big families and others have just one person living in the house. The rambunctious puppy might be able to get all the attention they need in a different household. The dog afraid of kids might be the perfect dog in a house without kids visiting frequently. The athlete dog could be the jogging partner a woman training for her first marathon has been looking for.

I once thought people who gave up their dogs were uncaring. I no longer think that. I think that helping a dog move on to a house that’s a better fit can sometimes be the most caring thing you can do for a dog. Yes, it can be heartbreaking and maybe a bit embarrassing.

But if you’re rehoming to help the dog have a better life, I admire and support your decision.