Kids and Dogs - Scenarios to Consider

I think it’s important that authors be transparent about their personal biases. So, let’s get mine out in the open right upfront. If you’re a regular reader here, you obviously know that I adore dogs. They make me giggle, make me see the world differently, keep me more active than I’d otherwise be, and just generally make me happier because they exist. And I feel much the same way about kids.

There, I said it. I like dogs and kids.

I’ll bet that colors my perception of having dogs and kids interacting. But I’ll try to be as fair about this as possible. There are safety concerns involved and I certainly want everyone (both the kids AND the dogs) to be safe.

So, let’s get some of the basics out of the way.

Kids should never be left unsupervised with a dog.
I know, I know. You’ve had your dog for seven years and she was around your twin niece and nephew constantly when they were babies and she was a puppy and there was never, NEVER a problem. She loved them and was tolerant of them climbing on her, pulling her ears, and putting their fingers in her mouth. You have photos of her sleeping with one of them draped across her on the couch. Very cute stuff. She’s safe. No problem.
Except, behavior is never 100%. What she did then doesn’t guarantee that it’s what she’ll do in the future. Sure, past behavior is the best predictor that we have about what a dog is likely to do in the future in the same circumstances, but it’s still no guarantee.
Besides, the circumstances are not the same - they simply can’t be. Your new baby is not the same as the past babies. And your dog of today isn’t the same as your dog of years past. She’s grown, and matured, and had lots more life experiences. Your dog may have been an incredibly tolerant puppy who’s learned kids can be erratic and a wee-bit painful and that growling will make people leave and, if not, a gentle nip certainly will. She may have previously welcomed every player - including every other dog and every human, but is now more selective about who she wants near her (completely normal behavior for an adult dog). Or, you may not yet have come to realize that your dog has back pain that only presents itself when someone presses on her shoulders - right where your baby is crawling.
Good dogs sometimes bite when faced with circumstances they are uncomfortable with. Being present allows you to notice your dog’s body language before it escalates into an injury. You can’t intervene if you’re not in the room.
Further, if you’re not there, you can’t know what caused the problem. The child isn’t necessarily going to be able to tell you. So, you won’t have any good information to use to avoid future problems.
So, how old does your kid have to be before you can leave them with your dog? Only you can answer that question. Maybe some of the points below will help you decide.
Size matters.
I love big dogs. I don’t mind the occasional (sometimes big) scratch I get from a big dog who swipes me with a paw while we’re wrestling. I don’t mind being knocked down in a muddy dog park if a friendly dog jumps on me while I’m running with it. I’ve even been gracious when a young but large dog bit solidly into my hand while he was learning to play tug of war and had not yet learned an important rule - no teeth on human skin during tug.
But I’m an adult. And I’ve chosen to put myself in those situations. It’s different for kids.
While small dogs can do some serious damage, a bite from a big dog is simply more likely to do worse. Some of the dogs I get to work with have huge teeth. I don’t mean to be too graphic but, a bite to a small face from a German Shepherd would likely mean the end of that dog’s life while a Chihuahua might get off with a warning.
If things really go off the rails (and to be fair, they don’t usually), you’ll want to help ensure that the person (kid) is big enough to defend themselves if the dog continues to bite. That’s less likely with bigger dogs.
Dogs and babies require super extra careful arrangements.
I recently saw a video online which showed a man introducing his new baby to his four (or five?) large dogs. He brought them in one at a time (good) and presented the baby (head first - bad) to each of the dogs to sniff. Except for the person taking the video, it appeared he was alone (bad). The dogs were loose instead of tethered or at least leashed (bad).
The dogs all looked very interested. But their body language also indicated signs of stress - and possible predation. One even opened his mouth carefully and attempted to put it over the baby’s skull. The dad thought it was cute - my heart stopped. I’m relieved to tell you that it all turned out okay this time. But how often do we hear, “he attacked without warning - he’s never done anything like that in the past.” Babies are fragile. Dogs can act quickly. If the dog bites a baby, it’s going to be very bad for the dog - even though the dog was simply acting like the animal that he is. When we choose to bring animals into our homes it is our job to keep them, and everyone around them, safe. If there’s a failure, it’s our failure. But it’s the dog who will pay the consequences. If a baby is bitten, it’s very possible that the dog will be removed from the home and killed by the authorities. In cases like these, the baby is injured, the parents are traumatized, and the dog dies even though the whole situation could have been avoided. Please be careful with dogs and babies.

Okay, well, that got very serious. Let’s turn to some good news about a few very specific scenarios where I think that kids and dogs can mix well.

Dogs and kids can be great together. While I often point out that “anecdotes aren’t evidence” I’ll use a few anecdotes to make my points nonetheless.

Kids and Dog Training

I think this is a great option for kids old enough to follow directions - and with the possible caveat about size differences mentioned above. A smallish seven year old can assist teaching the new Coton de Tulear to stay - but maybe shouldn’t try to teach the rambunctious and friendly four month old Rottweiler puppy how to walk nicely on leash without pulling (though a clever way to make that safer is to put the dog on two leashes - one held by the child and another held by an attentive adult).

Many kids have participated in training sessions I have taught at their houses and it can be great fun for everyone. Training tends to be a bonding experience for dogs and their trainers because dogs love training (if they don’t, there’s something wrong with the training). I use a counting system during training - I only advance to the next step in a training plan if the dog can successfully complete 4 or 5 correct out of 5 tries. We stay on that same step if the dog does it 3 times correctly and we drop to an easier step if the dog can only do it right 1-2 times. This eliminates the “I THINK she knows” tendency we all have when we’re pulling for the dog. I’ve taught that counting system to many kids and, though it took me months to master it, I’ve seen them get it down pat in minutes. I’ve even had a few correct me when I got the count wrong. Kids are smart if we give them the chance.

Dog training is largely a mechanical skill. And like other mechanical skills (like playing piano, tennis, cooking, or riding a unicycle) we can get better with practice. I work with a lot of adults who find that they can more effectively “drive” their newly trained dog with the proper placement of treats, clear hand signals, eliminating other distracting body movements, and such. But kids seem to pick these things up faster than many adults do.

Bella training a down stay with distractions!

I have a hypothesis about why kids are so quick to learn how to train dogs: because they are practiced learners. Until the global pandemic struck, they went to school five days a week and a person standing at the front of the room told them something, they believed it, and they put it into practice. How many parents have heard, “well, that’s not how Mrs. Burns does it” when their parents try to show them how to do something at home? As a whole, they’ve learned to listen carefully to instructions, observe demonstrations, and do just exactly what they were told/shown. Conversely, we adults list and watch and think, “oh, that’s sort of like this other thing I have done in the past and so I can probably do it sort of like that and it will be okay.” When learning a new skill, we could take a few pointers from the kids. Pay attention to the expert and do what’s already been proven to work - it’s more likely to work for you.

If a kid can pay attention and take direction, they’re welcome in my training session for as long as they can stay engaged.

I recently had the opportunity to interview a young lady named Bella about dog training. Bella lives in Rochester, New York and is nine years old. But she’s been participating in dog training for years now. Yes, she’s always with adults like her mom or Lisa from Dog Educated (a GREAT dog trainer if you happen to be in the area and need help). I’d heard that Bella was a good dog trainer and I wanted to hear what she had to say. Our chat was delightful and eye-opening. I asked Bella what advice she’d offer people who just got a dog and she had three suggestions:

“Consider taking them to a dog trainer.” Bella understands the value of working with qualified professionals!
“Always use positive reinforcement to train.” Bella and I totally agree that there’s never a need for a prong collar or other device which uses pain, fear, or intimidation to train a dog. Never.
“Don’t install fear.” (The exact words she used were “don’t build fear.”) She understands that fear is easy to install, leads to all sorts of problems, and is difficult or impossible to resolve.

Now tell me that a kid can’t grasp dog training. Bella is but one shining example of a young person who understands the concepts as well as the mechanics.

Kids and Dog Parks

I was recently at a local dog park that I like (not all dog trainers like dog parks but I think many provide great opportunities for dogs to exercise and socialize with their own kind). A woman came in with her young son (about 4 years old). The dogs there that day were all dogs I recognized as being friendly, so I wasn’t too terribly concerned. And then she said, “go run and see if they will chase you.” Now that got my attention. I’m not the type to worry that the worst case could happen - and in this case, the worst case was that these larger dogs could see a small kid running away from them as prey, and work together to capture their prey (or worse). So, while that thought DID go through my head because I know it’s possible, I was able to push that worry down and move onto a much more likely scenario. They’d see the youngster as a human who wants to play - and play they would.
So, I said to the mom, “Are you sure you want him to do that? There’s a good chance he’ll get knocked down by these big rowdy dogs and he could get hurt.” She said, “Oh, it’s okay, he loves dogs.” Off he went. And the dogs followed quickly behind. In short order, the kid had been knocked down, jumped on, pawed at, and licked. He was screaming and afraid and the mom quickly gathered him into her arms and carried her crying son out of the park. I felt awful for the kid. Though I don’t think he got physically hurt, I hope he recovers from what was obviously a very scary event in his life.

So, should all kids be allowed in all dog parks to do anything they want to do? No, obviously not.

But parents and kids can become knowledgeable about good dog park behavior to decrease risk and allows kids to accompany their four-legged housemates on these fun outings. Teaching kids to “be a tree” instead of running away from dogs can go a long way towards deescalating a tense situation. Staying with an adult who understands dog body language is a good idea. LEARNING dog body language is a good idea for parents AND kids who are absolutely capable of learning. Learning not to chase, follow, or even approach strange dogs - but to let them approach you instead - is a good idea (Michael Shikashio, a trainer who focuses on aggressive dogs points out the folly of extending your hand to let a dog sniff - pointing out that it’s actually a good way to get your hand bitten).

On the other hand, I’ve met lots of delightful kids in dog parks. Their parents had prepared them for their visit by teaching them basics guidelines like staying near, not running, and not approaching strange dogs. Those kids have made great doggie friends - one of my own dogs hadn’t seen her friend Bethany in ages and, though she’d grown up a lot since we had last seen her, Juno remembered her and picked up right where they’d left off (licking every inch of ever-patient Bethany’s face).

And kids can have great relationships with and be incredibly insightful about their dogs. I’ve had more than one kid tell me about something their dog was afraid of that their parents hadn’t noticed - or something the dog especially enjoyed that the rest of the family didn’t know. Recently, a dog ran up to me at the dog park. This same dog had been afraid to do that three weeks earlier, but he and I had slowly gained trust in one another. When I commented how great it was that his dog had approached me with obvious joy, the 12 year old with the dog said,

“We are all brave
at different speeds.”

Resources

To learn more about kids and dogs, including how to introduce your dog to your new baby, contact Kate LaSala at Rescued by Training. She can work with you remotely, so you can be anywhere to get great help.
A good book that will help kids life more safely with their dog’s is A Kid’s Comprehensive Guide to Speaking Dog! by Niki Tudge.
And I recommend I Speak Dog for adults (and mature kids) for learning how to read the body language of dogs - something I’m convinced that can reduce dog bites tremendously. Once you do, you’ll know why the photo below makes dog trainers worried (hint: there are at least four signals the dog is using to ask for space - signals the people near the dog appear not to understand).

Tim SteeleJuly 26, 20202 Comments